Can You Have a Personal Connection With Someone You've Never Met?

Media is a funny thing (and by media, I mean print, television, radio, music, movies, etc). It allows us, especially in 2016, to have instant access and communication with people all over the world at the press of a button (or a finger on a touchscreen, as is more common these days). Ironically, along with this increased closeness with strangers around the world comes an increasing sense of isolation amongst those we're closest to in our real lives. However, that overarching theme is not the point of this post and is best left for a different discussion. Where I'm going with this is the strange and true way in which media, regardless of which kind, can allow us to feel a deep and personal connection with people we have never met and who, in most cases, never will meet.

Speaking from personal experience, this is most clearly felt when it comes to my favorite music and musicians. Whether it's stuff from before my time in the 1960s and 1970s or what I grew up listening to in the 1980s, 90s, and beyond, I've definitely felt an almost personal connection with many of the creators of this music. Obviously the majority of this is through their music and the continual enjoyment I derive from it, but much of it also comes through the various media in which I've been able to learn about them. In my younger days, it was through newspaper and magazine interviews, videos, and the radio. In recent years, it's been even easier to have access to those we're fans of through the internet and social media outlets like Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. Today's technology allows for an instant channel of communication from fans to celebrities, and in many cases back in the opposite direction (of which I've been fortunate to be a part of numerous times). While this has the potential to get ugly since fan hate can now be spewed without thought of consequence at the swipe of a finger, and though the anonymity of the internet has resulted in many ugly episodes, the majority of the time this method of rapid interaction has allowed fans an actual concrete feeling of connection to those they admire.

All of this leads me (finally) to discussing this strange phenomenon, or in the words of the recently departed David Bowie, "strange fascination," with having a connection beyond that of being just a fan, and whether or not it results in anything worthwhile. Personally, while I am a huge sports fan, I don't cheer for or pay attention to athletes unless they play for one of my beloved Boston teams; I suspect this is typical of most sports fans. However, when it comes to music, which is the biggest passion in my life after my family, it's a different story. Let me get it out of the way now that I don't blindly hero worship anyone and I realize that everyone, whether famous or not, is human and as such nowhere near perfect. Regardless of your station in life, we all have our faults and problems. I also wholeheartedly subscribe to the bromide that you should never meet your heroes (although I've been lucky in that the few times I have actually met some of mine, they turned out to be genuinely nice people). When I speak of a "connection," I mean that there's something there beyond simply being a fan, although what exactly this something is can be quite difficult to articulate. For me, the musicians who fall into this category would be the ones I have the highest degree of fandom for such as the Beatles, Blur, the Who, the Kinks, and several more which I won't mention for fear of this list getting too long. Through everything I've absorbed and studied about them, it almost feels as I though I know them, not in a literal sense but certainly in terms of what I know about them. Obviously, I'm not so delusional that I feel as though I truly do know them, but it definitely feels as though I have a fair understanding of what they're all about. This sense of connection can get scary, though, when people end up convincing themselves they're actually friends with those they admire, often having tragic consequences (see the murders of Selena and John Lennon, or Charles Manson's murder spree as but three examples). Even when it doesn't lead to such tragic endgames, many stalkers are born from thinking they are friends with their favorites, exacerbated these days with social media's instant access (I'm reminded in particular of the unhinged fangirls Blur guitarist Graham Coxon seems to unfortunately attract through no fault of his own).

When I stop to think about it from my own perspective, I probably know more about Paul McCartney or Damon Albarn or Pete Townshend or Ray Davies than I do some of my oldest and closest friends, simply by virtue of the fact that nearly every thought and detail of their lives has been made public for the entirety of their adult lives. While us "normal" people (are any of us truly normal?) can still keep things private such that only those closest to us know them, famous figures have every bit of their past and present combed over and written about, so it's inevitable we'd know more about people we've never met than people we see on a regular basis. In many ways, this feeling of connection has helped me (and others, I'm sure) in tough times...knowing that someone else, no matter how remote they are, has gone through something similar and seeing how they channeled that into their work (which, in most cases in my life, is music) can be a great source of comfort and strength to draw upon. While I certainly rely first and foremost on family and friends for the support I need, the extra bit that can come from someone you feel connected to from afar can make all the difference. Additionally, there are some of these people whose deaths have affected me almost as much as though they were someone I knew and was close to personally (most notably, John Lennon, George Harrison, and most recently David Bowie). I mourn them not because they were beloved friends, but because I know so much about their lives and their music has deeply touched mine...a feeling shared by their countless fans around the world as well.

I think I'm going to stop here because I'm finding it increasingly difficult to articulate exactly what I mean in a way that I feel makes it crystal clear, and I know from personal experience that there's nothing worse than having someone beat you over the head with something they've written as they start to go around in circles because they just can't find the right words to fully convey their idea. For those of you who do understand what I'm trying to say, what do you think? Is it possible to have a connection with someone you've never met, regardless on what level? To what extent? And if so, who is it for you and how has it affected you, either positively or negatively?

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Star Wars

I'd been kicking around the idea for this post for a while, but the recent release of Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens back in December gave me the necessary kick in the arse to sit down and write it now. You see, I've been a huge Star Wars fan for my entire life, or at least as much of my life as I can remember, which goes back to about the age of three. While I'm not one of those fans who dresses in costume, learns to speak the alien languages from the films, or tries to use the Force to move objects around, I have seen the movies an obscene number of times and known way more about the minutiae of the Star Wars universe than I probably need to. It's not the only science fiction franchise I'm a big fan of...I also love Star Trek, for instance, but for different reasons. While Star Trek appeals more to me because of the deeper themes, more complex storylines, and it being a more realistic vision as to what the future may hold, Star Wars is just rollicking good fun. Creator George Lucas has stated numerous times that he was inspired by the Flash Gordon serials he loved to watch a a kid, and the label of swashbuckling space opera that has been levied on Star Wars seems more than appropriate to me.

In discussing my love of Star Wars, let me point out that I was born at the beginning of 1980, so even though I was too young to see the original trilogy in the movie theaters, my parents did and I grew up never knowing a world in which they didn't exist. I was three years old in 1983 when Episode VI: Return of the Jedi was released and I had (and still have) a lot of memorabilia from that era. I used to have several of the action figures and playsets, including the Ewok village, but all I can find now in my garage and my parents' basement are a few scattered figures (the Rancor keeper, General Madine, an AT-ST walker) and two books: one a full color picture book of the movie and the other a pop-up book with highlights from the movie's story. My love for all things Star Wars really blossomed in the late 1980s when I saved up enough of my money from Christmas and birthday gifts in order to buy the original trilogy on VHS...in fact, it was a boxed set of all three movies, plus a fourth tape about the behind-the-scenes making of the films called From Star Wars to Jedi. I've still got the tapes somewhere, but from that moment I probably watched the films every few months and learned all I could about the characters, alien races, planets, and backstory of the Star Wars universe. This was aided greatly by some books my mum bought me in the early 1990s: three of them were on the making of the films and included a wealth of information, concept art, and special effects secrets, while the fourth was a Star Wars encyclopedia. I was able to come full circle when the original trilogy was re-released in movie theatres in 1997 to celebrate the 20th anniversary of the the first of the series to be released, Episode IV: A New Hope. While it was a thrill to see all three on the big screen and with surround sound, it was quite jarring to see how George Lucas had modified the films I had memorized by heart over my entire life up that point. While some of the additions weren't too bad (for example, adding more X-Wings in the background during the assault on the Death Star), others were unnecessary (changing the band and music in Jabba's palace), clunky (re-inserting the deleted scene in A New Hope where Han Solo now talks to a CGI Jabba the Hutt, a scene that is actually beneficial in explaining why Jabba is after Han, but which suffers from primitive CGI), to the downright stupid (having Greedo shoot first). I vowed there and then that I would never watch the modified versions of the films again, although this became increasingly difficult to do as Lucas made sure only the special editions were available to buy on DVD and digital download going forward.

You can imagine my excitement and surprise when I started college and heard that Lucas was going to make Episodes I-III! New Star Wars movies...what more could I ask for? Ever since I was a kid and had read that George had originally planned nine movies in the series, I'd always hoped that someday he'd make them. The excitement in the build-up to the release of Episode I: The Phantom Menace in 1999 was unbelievable, and not just personally but for all Star Wars fans. However, my initial reaction after I saw the film three times in the theatres was that it was just okay. I enjoyed it because if was Star Wars, because it set up the beginning of the story that would lead up to A New Hope, and because there were some fantastic characters and actors in it (Liam Neeson as Qui-Gon Jinn, Ewan McGregor's superb portrayal of young Obi-Wan Kenobi, Ian MacDiarmid as the younger Darth Sidious/Senator Palpatine, Darth Maul, Christopher Lee as Count Dooku in Episodes II and III). However, there was also some terrible acting, most notably Natalie Portman (Padme Amidala), Jake Lloyd (young Anakin Skywalker in Episode I) and Hayden Christensen (teenage/adult Anakin in Episodes II and III). Portman and Christensen are usually decent actors who nonetheless delivered wooden, stilted performances in these films. Granted, the dialogue George Lucas wrote (one of his self-admitted weaknesses) didn't help, but still, good actors should be able to overcome. Even Samuel L. Jackson as Mace Windu, while passable, was hampered by the dialogue that left his character a bit less than what he should have been.  Episode II: Attack of the Clones was a bit better than Episode I although some of the romantic dialogue between Portman and Christensen was unbelievably bad. Again, though, I enjoyed it because it was Star Wars, but for me the only one of the three prequels that approached the brilliance of the original trilogy was Episode III: Revenge of the Sith. It had action and adventure, emotional pull (Obi-Wan expressing his anger, disgust, and heartbreak at Anakin's ultimate fate at the conclusion of their epic battle is a favorite scene), some very efective editing (the cuts back and forth between Luke and Leia's birth and Anakin's transformation into Vader), and the climactic moment we'd all waited for when Anakin took his first breath as Darth Vader. In fact, I rank Episode III in my top three films in the series. If I rank the films in order of favorite to least favorite, it looks like this:

1. Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back
2. Episode IV: A New Hope
3. Episode III: Revenge of the Sith
4. Episode VI: Return of the Jedi
5. Episode VII: The Force Awakens
6. Episode II: Attack of the Clones
7. Episode I: The Phantom Menace

That being said, I continue to enjoy all of the films and have come to appreciate them more with the passage of time, especially the prequels. (I even don't hate Jar-Jar Binks as much as I used to, even though I could still do with MUCH less of him in Episode I). I also need to mention that Ewan McGregor's portrayal of the younger Obi-Wan Kenobi was tremendous throughout all three prequels and he is firmly cemented as one of the great characters and performances across the entire series. Even the way he appropriated Alex Guinness' mannerisms and accent from Episodes IV-VI in order to make him wholly believable as the younger version was masterful (not to mention he's long been a favorite actor of mine). The original trilogy will always hold the most special place in my heart as those were the original three movies that hooked me and everyone else, and as you can see above they make up three of my top four films in the series. Even though I ranked the new film fifth, I thoroughly enjoyed it and think it is a worthy and perfect continuation of the series, capturing the spirit of fun, adventure, and humor that was at its most effective in the original trilogy and which was slightly lacking in the prequels. (I'm deliberately shying away from saying anything more about the new film in case any of you reading this still haven't see it yet!). Seeing so many of the old characters in the film and falling in love with the new ones was really cool and struck the right balance between nostalgia and something new that was needed to appease the older fans while bringing in the new ones.

What's been the best thing for me lately about Star Wars, besides it giving me an excuse to relive my childhood (some would say I still haven't outgrown it) and revel in my geekiness for all things Star Wars-related, has been getting my kids into it. In particular, my second oldest daughter and my son sat and watched all six films in order with me in the weeks leading up to the premiere of the new one. My son has been into Star Wars the past couple of years in terms of toys and costumes (he's been an X-Wing pilot the last two Halloweens), but it's turned into a full-blown obsession akin to how I was at his age. He dressed in his X-Wing pilot costume and my daughter dressed as Princess Leia (complete with the hairstyle, courtesy of my talented wife!) when we went to see The Force Awakens. Although I don't think their goosebumps matched the nostalgic rush of mine when the opening fanfare and story crawl first hit the screen, they were definitely on the edge of their seats with excitement as much as I was.

Getting back to my son, he has loads of Star Wars action figures, Legos, cars, etc, and now that he has learned to read he is devouring every book about the films and the Star Wars universe that he can get his hands on. He is even blowing me away with his knowledge of the different creatures, planets, vehicles, characters, etc. He knows which movie certain events happened in and at the age of six and a half, as well as how and why they connect with the other films. Another thing that has struck me is that since he has grown up in a world where the six films have existed, some of his favorite characters and moments actually come from the prequels. Yes, he loves Luke, Leia, Han, Chewbacca, Yoda, and Darth Vader, but he also routinely lists Mace Windu, Anakin, General Greivous, Qui-Gon, Darth Maul, and Count Dooku as some of his favorites. His willing acceptance and enjoyment of the prequels for what they are allowed me to watch them with a less cynical eye and realize that while they are for the most part definitely weaker than the original trilogy, they also suffered from the unrealistic weight of expectations leading up to their release (especially Episode I, which had sixteen years of anticipation and a huge amount of hype leading up to its release that it could never meet or exceed) and they have been overly vilified by fans and critics alike.  Sure, they're weren't as good as the originals, but they certainly weren't as bad as the conventional wisdom makes them out to be, either. That's my opinion, at least.

With all of this being said, my kids and I are now eagerly counting down to the release of Episodes VIII and IX. While I consider myself fortunate that I've been able to see all of the films on the big screen, I'm also glad that my kids will get a chance to experience the excitement and anticipation of each new film in a new trilogy. Additionally, their experience of seeing the six films in order from I-VI as opposed to how I and others of my generation experienced them (IV-VI, and then I-III) is different enough that I'm glad it gives them their own unique way to experience the wonder and fun of the Star Wars saga. In the end, sharing in all of this fun and sense of wonder in the realms of imagination with my kids is the best part about the entire experience for me.

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Another Year Remembering John Lennon

This is how I like to think of John...smiling, happy, and a bit cheeky

Every year when this day pops up, I get a little bit sad. Today is, of course, the day in 1980 when John Lennon was needlessly, shockingly, and cruelly taken from us for reasons we still cannot comprehend other than the fact that it somehow made sense in the mind of a madman. I've written about how John's death (as well as George's, which was fifteen years ago this past couple of weeks ago) has affected me, but I was moved to write a little memory of it on a message board that I frequent and I thought it was worth sharing here as well. 

I wrote: "I was 10 months old in December 1980, so obviously I don't remember it [hearing about John's death] firsthand, but I take solace in the fact that I was alive when all four Beatles were. I also get a bit sad this time each year knowing that I can mark how many years he's been gone by the same number of years I've been alive. I've been a Beatles fan literally from birth thanks to my parents. I remember when I was in kindergarten in 1985 and a schoolfriend told me "did you know John Lennon was shot?" I remember running into my house after school crying and telling my mum "somebody shot John!" and she had to explain to me it had happened five years before.

I try to not let the deaths of famous people that I've never met affect me, but the Beatles have touched me on such a deep level over my entire 35+ years on this planet that in the case of John (and George), it does affect me and I'm OK with that. The beautiful thing is that every time I hear his songs and I hear his voice, I feel good inside."

For me, today, as it is every year, is a day for listening to the Beatles and solo John, enjoying the music, and remembering the supremely talented, complicated, flawed, conflicted, and ultimately good man he was. Gone but never forgotten, and somehow a little piece of him belongs to all of us who love his music, his artwork and writing, and his overall message. Thanks for what you gave us, John.

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Personal Growth, Change, and the Power of Positive Thinking

This is going to be a bit different for me as I'm going to get a little personal, yet at the same time I intend to keep this post pretty vague as I don't want to divulge too many personal things. However, I felt as though this is something I needed to share since it was quite profound and impactful. I hope it can spur discussion with anyone out there who has gone through the same thing, or perhaps even help someone out there who is trying to make the same kinds of changes that I am.

Like most people, I've been shaped by the experiences I've had over the course of my life, and like most people a lot of them have been good and a lot have been bad. However, one of the problems I've had over the years is that I've allowed negative experiences, the ones that have hurt me, embarrassed me, or otherwise changed me for the worse, to linger. Beyond that, I've let them change my actions/reactions to certain situations, and I've allowed them to color my perceptions of and interactions with people around me. Most frustratingly, I've known this for many, many years but could never seem to change it. If I really put in the effort, I could change it for a few weeks, but it was more of the "fake it until you make it" approach as opposed to any real sea change in my thinking and processing. I just couldn't seem to let go and move on from anything that had hurt me in the past, and I couldn't seem to stop projecting all of the hurt, anger, and resentment I had toward those past situations and people onto the people around me in the present who had nothing to do with it. It was affecting me and those around me, near and far, quite negatively and, in all honesty, I felt like I was hopeless to ever meaningfully, permanently change it. I was really good at seeming like I was happy and carefree on the outside, but inside I was constantly nagged by all of the slights, however real or perceived, large or small, that I'd absorbed over the years and they completely skewed how I viewed the world and people around me.

And then something amazing happened...

As I said, I'm intentionally keeping this post vague in terms of details because it is my personal life, after all. However, something huge happened to me that changed me forever, and in a life-alteringly fantastic way. Now, I'm a religious person and always have been. I'm a devout Christian and I read the Bible and pray on a regular basis. I believe in the power of prayer and that while we are imbued with freewill and make our own destinies, God does listen to us and offers help, strength, and guidance we need it.  On this particular night a couple of months ago, as I was laying in bed, something triggered what seemed like a lightning bolt inside my heart and mind (metaphorically speaking, of course). Everything that had ever happened to me, all of the hurt and anger, resentment and mistrust, cynicism and negativity, all of the jaded and bitter feelings I'd been clinging to deep inside...they all seemed to just fall away from me. A light bulb went off in my mind and I had a sudden realization that I could let it all go, I could stop letting the past affect my present, and that I had been treating those closest to me as though they had wronged me when they never had.

I'm not exaggerating when I say that when I woke up the next morning, I felt like a completely different person. More than that, I also finally understood that one of the reasons I was never able to grow and change in the past is because I was always looking toward the future, and impatiently (anyone who knows me knows that patience has never been a virtue of mine). I decided then and there, that morning, to live in the present, one day at a time. To put it simply, I was going to just focus on making each moment, each day, great for me and those around me. By focusing on my thoughts and actions each day, I wouldn't be overwhelmed or impatient by worrying about what the future would hold...I would live in the moment. This was quite a contrast from having one foot planted firmly in past hurts while simultaneously having another planted in an uncertain future I was impatient to arrive at. Everyone around me noticed how different I was and were probably skeptical that it would last. I did a lot of reflection and a lot of crying over the first couple of weeks, yet here I am months later, and it's not only here to stay, but feels effortless. I think it's because I'm not putting as much concerted effort into changing (although I am working very hard at it) so much as it seems to be just how I am now.

Two things that have been huge helps in keeping me centered throughout this monumental change are basic meditation and regular prayer, the former for stress/anxiety relief and the latter as a source of guidance and strength. Both have proven to be even more powerful and helpful than in years past...whether this is actually the case or whether I'm just noticing it more, it doesn't matter as the end result is the same. More than that, I'm finding that I'm opening up more, both to myself and others, about my feelings and that I'm communicating and listening better than I ever have.  Given how absolutely terrible I was at all of these, I sometimes feel like that's not saying much, but it's been a process akin to learning to walk although I feel like it's not as scary as I thought it would be.  I have to say, in all honesty it all feels really good although I'm still aware that I've got a ways to go until I'm where I want to be. Rebuilding myself and my relationships with those around me is not a quick fix and learning patience, how to take responsibility for my mistakes, and how to pick myself up and keep moving forward with a positive attitude are difficult things that I'm doing better now than I ever have. However, I know that I'm still a complete work-in-progress. Just tonight (as I write this), I screwed up badly and ended up stung quite deeply by the consequences. While I'm still dwelling on them and kicking myself repeatedly for my mistake, I'm intending on waking up tomorrow morning with a positive attitude and working as hard as I have to to make tomorrow a great day. I'll learn from tonight's stupid mistake but won't keep beating myself up over it...rather, I'll use it as a springboard for growth and for making sure it doesn't happen again.

I know that I've got such a long road ahead of me to become the person I've always wanted to be, but for the first time in my life it doesn't seem daunting. In fact, for the first time in my life it seems like it's completely within my reach. A positive attitude, a lot of changes, and asking for guidance when it's needed will take me a long way. The journey has been great just over these past couple of months...I can't wait to see where it takes me next.

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Little Sleep in Big China

I've been back from China for a couple of weeks now, which has been enough time to finally decompress, get reacclimated to my home and work lives, and get my body adjusted after the jet lag. It's been a hectic couple of weeks to say the least but I now have time to write about my trip and my thoughts on the entire experience. Since there's a lot to go over, I figured I would break this post into segments to make it a bit more palatable from a reading point of view. Also, I took a lot of pictures over the course of the trip, so I apologize in advance for slow loading times on your computers!

The Travel: When I left off in my previous post, I was sitting in the business class lounge at the Toronto airport killing time during my long layover before the flight to Shanghai. When it was time to get on the plane, I was able to board first since I was flying business class. What an experience! On Air Canada, each seat is its own individual "pod" and there are four rows in the cabin at the front of the plane. all arranged at an angle such that you get the entire section to yourself. It was plenty long to stretch my legs out fully, which at 6'5" is not an easy feat on a plane! There was an ottoman, plenty of space, a TV with loads of movies and TV shows to choose from, and lots of extra amenities. The second I sat down, a flight attendant put a glass of champagne in my hand. They handed out travel kits that had slipper-socks, a toothbrush and toothpaste, hand sanitizer and lotion, and more. Hot towels were passed out shortly after takeoff and again before landing, and the seat was able to be reclined for maximum comfort during the flight, which was great when I was reading or watching something. Even better for a guy who has never been able to sleep sitting upright on airplanes, the seat reclined completely flat so that I could actually get some sleep! On the flight over, I was able to take two three-hour catnaps...not great, but better than usual. The meals on the flight were great and the food and drink just kept coming; whatever you wanted, whenever you wanted it, was available...all you had to do was ask. The flight to Shanghai took about 14 and 1/2 hours and we landed at 3pm Shanghai time. As we started our descent, I really started to get anxious since we were finally arriving in China. The flight attendants handed out Chinese entry and departure cards that we had to fill out. Once we landed, I got off of the plane and made my way down the tunnel to the airport...as I looked out of the window and onto the streets below, it finally hit me: "Wow, I'm in China!"

Barely in my seat and they gave me champagne!

I could stretch out...not typical for 6'5"guys on airplanes!

When I got to Chinese customs and immigration, I won't lie...I was quite intimidated. There were so many people and the lines were long. Luckily, all of the airport personnel spoke passable English and there were a lot of Westerners mixed in with the native Chinese so I didn't feel completely out of place. I eventually got up to the window and handed my passport and entry card to the agent, who looked it over, stamped it, and took my photo so they could match it when I left the country. After getting my suitcase at baggage claim and going through customs, I exited the airport and arrived to the main foyer. Now, I had been told by the conference organizers that transportation would be arranged and all I had to do was look for someone holding a sign with my company's logo on it...sounds easy enough, right? Well, nothing could have prepared me for the absolute crush of people standing behind the barriers on both side holding up signs and speaking in Chinese. As I walked down the long aisle, I started getting more and more nervous as I could not see any signs with our logo on it, I was getting near the end, and I didn't have any cell phone service (not that it would've mattered since I didn't have a number I could have called anyway). Finally, about 3/4 of the way down the line I saw a small piece of paper being held up with our logo on it. I rushed over and was greeted by two of the event staff who handed me off to a driver. He grabbed my suitcase and motioned for me to follow him. Once in the hired car, we started to drive through the insane traffic exiting Pudong Airport to make our way to the hotel.  I tried to make small talk with the him, but my first question was met with a response of "no...English" so I settled in for the silent forty-five minute drive. The landscape was similar to any urban sprawl you can see in the US but at the same time quite different. What was more striking to me were the areas of affluence right on top of areas of abject poverty. And the construction...one thing I noticed about Shanghai over the entire week was the construction going on EVERYWHERE, and at all hours of day and night. On my first night at the hotel, I met up with a few of my group members for dinner on an outside patio, and we heard a building being a knocked down a few blocks away...at almost ten o'clock at night.

My hotel room

View from my window...the smog...

A reminder that this wasn't like back home...

Chinese Coke, Sprite, and other drinks

Oreos in China

A Snickers bar in China

As for jet lag, I suffered really badly for the first three or four nights. There was a full twelve hour time difference from back home so my body was thrown completely off. I had a hard time staying awake past 9pm most nights but was then wide awake by 1am or 2am with no hope of going back to sleep. It got so bad that I would be falling asleep sitting at a table during a symposium in the middle of the day...luckily I found I wasn't alone as all of my colleagues from the US were having the same issues. It wasn't until the Wednesday night of that week when I was finally worn out enough that I managed to sleep from 11pm to 5am. Of course, once I adjusted for the rest of the week, it was time to go back home on Saturday afternoon. The one good thing about the twelve hour time difference was that it made it easy for my wife and I to set up times to FaceTime so that I could talk to her and the kids. Their minds were blown when I would be talking to them at breakfast time (for me) and they were getting ready to go to bed the night before!

As for traveling back to the US, I took a hired van with three of my groupmates to the airport after we had lunch at a burger bar (no joke) near our hotel. (As an aside, the burger place was...excellent! All organic Australian beef and while I had no expectations of having a decent burger in China, I was blown away by this one). After checking my suitcase and going through security, I proceeded to the business class lounge with the other member of our group who was also flying business so that we could relax, have a snack, and use the (much) cleaner restrooms before it was time to board (our flights departed within fifteen minutes of each other). This time I was flying United Airlines back to the US and the business class cabin was set up differently but I liked it better. This time, there were rows of two "pods" but they were even more spacious and comfortable than what I had on the way to Shanghai. To make it even more bizarre, I started chatting next to the fellow I was seated next to and it turns out not only was he from Massachusetts, but his sister lives in the same town as my parents. Add in the fact that I overheard the Chinese fellow behind me say that he was a chemist who commutes to Boston regularly for work and it was a very strange coincidence that I sat where I did surrounded by those two people! The flight was VERY smooth...I slept four hours, I watched two movies: the new Who documentary "Lambert and Stamp," which was excellent, and "This is Spinal Tap," a movie I've probably seen twenty times but still made me laugh so hard that I had to stifle it on the plane, tears running down my face and my sides aching from how funny it still was. 

On the flight back...even roomier!

We made great time on the flight and it was exactly thirteen hours from Shanghai to New Jersey. The only downside to arriving an hour earlier than expected was that my four hour layover before my connecting flight home was now a five hour layover. However, a computer system crash at immigration and customs meant that I had to wait in line for an hour and a half before being officially checked back into the country. At this point I was starving and exhausted, so I went to the business class lounge and killed time there with a cold beer and  a snack before grabbing a quick sandwich for dinner prior to boarding my final flight. Upon landing at home, I got my suitcase from baggage claim, found my limo driver, and valiantly fought to stay away awake on the ninety minute drive home before staggering into my house and falling into bed after 1am Sunday morning. Luckily, after being exhausted all day Sunday, I slept normally that night and was pretty much over the jet lag by Tuesday. Overall, the travel wasn't nearly as bad as I thought it'd be although I do now know that I will only survive a flight that long in business class, if only for the ability to stretch my legs out and lay down during to sleep. I tend to get claustrophobic on planes if I'm on them for too long and business class certainly mitigated that.

The Conference: There's actually not too much detail I can get into with this since it was an internal research conference and everything that was discussed and presented is proprietary. However, the conference was great and I was able to finally meet a lot of my colleagues from around the world whom I had previously only interacted with over the phone or web conference. I presented my paper and it went very well...I got several compliments from colleagues throughout the week regarding it, which made me feel good especially as I've only been with the company a little over a year.  I also enjoyed all of the talks and symposia I attended during the week, learning a lot and reaffirming that I learn something new every day at this job, especially as I'm a chemist working at a predominantly engineering company.

My only complaint with the conference is that we were virtually trapped in the hotel the entire week. With a full schedule of talks, meals, and symposia, the entire day from 7am to 8pm was booked. Add in that those of us from the US and UK were suffering from severe jet lag (the folks from Europe adjusted easier and those from within China obviously had no problems) and it started to feel like we weren't ever going anywhere outside of the hotel. We even had two business unit outings for dinner on the Tuesday and Wednesday nights there, but they were literally get-on-the-bus-at-the-hotel-and-get-off-the-bus-at-the-restaurant outings which, while fun, didn't give us any feeling for what Shanghai was really like. That would have to wait until the final two days of my trip...

The Hotel and the Food: The conference center was on the 3rd level of the hotel so it was very convenient. It was a five-star hotel and while it was certainly quite nice, it wasn't the nicest hotel I've ever stayed in. I suspect five-stars in China is on a different scale relative to elsewhere. Even at such a nice hotel, we were instructed not to drink any of the water or even brush our teeth with it, and instead only drink or brush with bottled water, of which there was an abundance throughout the hotel. As for the food, all of our meals were prepared by the hotel and spaced out throughout each day of the conference. While overall it was good, it tended to be quite heavy. Even stranger, it was a mix of Chinese and Western food, but skewed more heavily toward the latter. Now, I understand the reason for this as not everyone traveling to Shanghai is as adventurous an eater as I and many others are, but I didn't want to be in China only to eat spaghetti, mashed potatoes, and hot dogs. The Chinese food they did have was quite good and fairly authentic, but after eating the same dishes for a week, I was tired of it. I made up for it as much as I could in my final two days in Shanghai when I actually got to explore the city... 

Spicy stir-fried shrimp and vegetables

An assortment of Chinese dishes...and a Coke

More Chinese food (the duck and cabbage wraps were amazing!)

The City of Shanghai and China in General: Having felt trapped in the hotel all week, I finally got a chance to actually see a bit of Shanghai on Friday afternoon and Saturday morning. With the conference ending on Thursday night, the only thing left I had to do for work was to visit one of our facilities on the other side of Shanghai on Friday morning.  Arriving back at the hotel at noon, I met up with five of my colleagues and we decided to go into the city to have lunch and sightsee. One of the most advantageous aspects of our day out was that two of my colleagues, while US citizens working in our California facilities, were both originally from China and spoke the language fluently. This paid huge dividends almost immediately as we were all very hungry and wanted to eat lunch first. After a cab ride to the Yu Gardens/Old City Shanghai section, we made our way up to the famous Nanking Dumpling House restaurant to have a traditional Shanghai meal. The line was ridiculously long and the wait was on the order of hours, but my colleagues who spoke the language managed to talk our way into the VIP room in the back and an all-inclusive meal for a fairly hefty (by Chinese) standards. Even better, they managed to talk them down on the final bill so it ended up being very reasonable, especially given the quality and quantity of the food. Dumplings of every filling, a whole fish (shown to us live in a bag for approval before cooking), soups, vegetables, appetizers, tea, beer...we were absolutely stuffed after eating and I can say that personally it was one of the best meals I've ever had and tied with dinner later that night, which I'll discuss in a bit...

Yu Yuan Gardens in Old City Shanghai

Beautiful although not peaceful...so many people around!

After lunch, we walked through the Yu Yuan Gardens market area, not only for the experience but because a few of us wanted to buy souvenirs for our spouses and kids before heading home the next day. The area was teeming with people, Chinese as well as Western tourists from the US, Europe, and Australia. I managed to get some great gifts for my family: I got my wife a wall-hanging for our new house, my son a traditional Chinese clay flute (a Xun), my youngest daughter a traditional Shanghai costume, my oldest daughter a stuffed panda bear wearing a traditional Chinese shirt and a good-luck panda wall ornament (she loves anything with panda bears), and my second oldest daughter a carved Chinese dragon. What made the experience so much fun is that, through my two colleagues, we were able to barter everything down to get better prices. It certainly felt like many of the merchants were initially thinking they could sucker the American tourists who didn't speak the language (most of the merchants spoke broken English at best) before our colleagues stepped in to haggle over prices. It was an absolute blast and I am forever grateful to my friends and coworkers who helped us out. Beers and meals as repayment have been promised!

Amazing dumplings and a broth-filled mega-dumpling

Shrimp steamed in green tea

Sea bass cooked whole for us...they brought it to us alive in a bag to approve before cooking

You want my Yuan?

That evening, one of my colleagues with whom I'd spent the afternoon with came with me and my boss as we set out for dinner. My boss had lived in Hong Kong off and on for several years when at his previous job and he even speaks and reads Mandarin (a most impressive feat as he's originally from the UK!) so he was a great asset to have in addition to being a great guy. We took the subway to the middle of the city and just walked and walked to see where we would end up. We eventually made our way into the fashion district, which was full of lights and people and glamor...at night, it reminded me of Times Square or Piccadilly Circus. Feeling quite hungry, my boss read the sign of a nearby hole in the wall restaurant and told us it was a Cantonese place (Cantonese being the primary language and cuisine of Hong Kong, where not only had he lived but where his wife hails from). Being familiar with the food, he said we should try it, so in we went and up the stairs to a table. We let him order for us and we were not disappointed. What a fantastic meal it was, with pickled cucumbers and sauteed cabbages and leeks for appetizers, barbecue pork and seafood. I also had one of the best non-alcoholic drinks I've ever had with that meal: a concoction of lime sherbet, fresh mint, freshly ground lime, and soda water. It was delicious and refreshing and I'm dying to try my hand at making one here at home!

Amazing Cantonese food (and the legendary lime and mint drink!)

The only other time we went out into the city during the week for dinner was for a group dinner on Tuesday night to the Bund area of Shanghai. The restaurant was excellent but rather strange: an Italian-style farmhouse winery and eatery in the middle of China's largest city! I did get a very nice souvenir for our house: a Chinese fan with our last name written in Chinese calligraphy, done by a very old man who wrote the characters in a very beautiful style. Also, we had dessert and drinks on the roof and the view of the Pudong skyline across the river was breathtaking (although how much of the taking of breath was due to the smog is up for debate). On Wednesday night, we had a group outing to a bowling alley for bowling, billiards, pizza, wings and beer. Being in China, I didn't bowl since there weren't any shoes in my size (I wear a US size 15), so I settled for billiards, beer, and conversation. The pizza was...interesting. Not good, not bad, just...interesting. Ditto the wings.

So smoggy...

The Budweiser of Chinese beer...still, not bad

Chinese pizza and wings were...interesting

As for China itself, the smog that we've all read and heard about was real and it was pretty bad for the first half of the week. By Thursday the skies were clear and beautiful and the air was clean, but earlier in the week it was an issue. Not only did it make the views perpetually hazy, but it burned my nose, sinuses, and throat. Worse than that, I could taste it and it was not pleasant...think of a mix of automobile exhaust and chemicals. Combined with the regular wafts of sewer stench throughout the city, it didn't make for a pleasant experience. When I blew my nose, the tissue was black and I noticed a definite improvement upon landing in New Jersey (yes, New Jersey, which usually stinks in its own right! Go figure.). It was a common site to see Chinese citizens wearing masks around the city and I can only imagine the elevated rates of cancer and respiratory conditions people who live there have compared to here  in America. I hope they can fix their pollution problem (the river looked awful as well) because the landscape is quite beautiful.

The stunning view of the Pudong skyline from the Bund

The Rock and Roll Chemist in the Bund

Fan with our last name written in Chinese

The smog clearing away as the week went on...

Wow! Blue sky!

After a while in Shanghai, it started to feel like any other big city. It wasn't until I would go past one of the imposing government buildings with the red star emblems or would see soldiers guarding the doors dressed in their green uniforms with red stars under a huge Chinese flag when I would remember that I was not in a free country. Combined with the government censoring of the internet, it made for a subtle reminder than for all of the apparent similarities in our freedoms, China is still very different from America. Sure, we joked about not being able to access Facebook, Google, Twitter and YouTube (among other sites), and many of our Chinese colleagues joined in, but the chilling feeling that you were being monitored was always there. Even when I was texting or FaceTiming with my wife and kids over the hotel wifi, it was in the back of my mind. Shanghai was a great city to visit and I'm sure I'll be back for business in the future, but as with any trip, it was so good to get back home to the USA, to my house, my amazing wife, our beautiful kids, our two cats, and my regular routine. I have more business trips on the horizon...who knows where they will take me? As the adage says, it's not the destination so much as it's the journey, and this is something I've definitely understood more the older I've gotten and the further I've traveled.

1 o'clock in the morning, sneaking in the back door...and this was the best part of the entire trip!

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Here We Go, China, Here We Go

The big day is finally here. As I write this, I'm sitting in the business class lounge at the airport in Toronto waiting for my connection to Shanghai. I've been up since 1:30am and truthfully, I didn't sleep last night as I was too anxious (and too paranoid about oversleeping!). The car service my company booked arrived at my house in the dead of night a little before 2am for the two hour drive to the airport. There's an airport only a half hour from my house but for some reason, flights out of there were thousands of dollars more expensive; it was actually cheaper for me to hire a car to take me to and from the airport, believe it or not. The ride into Baltimore was nice and easy...how could it not be when I was sitting in the back of a plush, comfortable luxury SUV? The driver was a really nice fellow and the conversation was excellent. When he dropped me off at BWI, I was groggy but quickly woke up when I walked inside: I couldn't believe how many people were there that early for flights. After checking in my suitcase, I made my way to security and then to the gate. To say I was taken aback when I saw the plane we'd be boarding for Toronto would be an understatement; I've been on some small shuttles for short flights, but this had to be the smallest plane I've ever been on! A twin turboprop that held, at most, 24 people, it was nonetheless a full flight. I was able to doze a little bit, but it wasn't very satisfying or refreshing.

Ninety minutes later, I landed in Toronto. The first thing I noticed when I got off of the plane and onto the tarmac was how much colder it was than back home...unsurprising since this is Canada, but I could see my breath here while back home it was considerably warmer. The Rush fan in me geeked out a little bit because the call-letters for the Toronto airport are YYZ (if you're not a Rush fan, look up their song "YYZ" to understand what I mean). Also, this is a MASSIVE airport. One thing I found comical was that I had to make a really long walk from the terminal all the way through customs and immigration (where the agents were quite cranky) and then on to the international terminal where I had to go through security yet again. When I finally rounded the corner to start walking toward my gate, I passed right by where I first had to go to customs! I had a little chuckle over that.

By this time I hadn't had anything to eat or drink since dinner last night and I was starving. Luckily, since I am flying business class on Air Canada, I was able to access their Maple Leaf Lounge, which offers free food, beverages, comfy furniture, clean bathrooms, and free WiFi (which I am using as I write this post). This brings us to the present, where I'm boarding in one hour to make the final leg of this journey to Shanghai. So many questions are going through my head: what will business class actually be like on the plane? Will I be able to sleep? What will the airport be like in Shanghai? What will customs and immigration be like? The hotel? The food? The conference? I have a mental list of things I'm simultaneously anxious, nervous, and excited about, but in every respect the overriding feeling I have is of great curiosity. As I finish this post, I'm reminded that sites like Facebook and Google are banned from use in China; the Blogger platform I use for this site is a Google product, so I'm not sure if I will be able to post again before coming home. If I can, I'll continue the travelogue; if not, I'll post more once I'm back in the USA. Either way, this trip is sure to be an experience I won't forget.

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CONCERT REVIEW: Ride at the Paradise Rock Club, Boston, MA October 3, 2015

***all of the photos in this post (except for one, noted below) were taken by me...please DO NOT use without my permission!***

Ride have been one of my favorite bands since my friend Carsten introduced me to them around 1999/2000, but since they'd broken up in 1995 I never had the chance to see them live...until this past weekend. As I'd mentioned a while back, I finally got to see them in concert at the Paradise in Boston. What was even better was that I had a chance to go with Carsten, who I hadn't seen in a while and is one of my close friends going back to our days in graduate school. The concert gave us a chance to catch up and also gave me a chance to go back home to New England and Boston, which I miss terribly and where I haven't been in almost a year. 

The stage before the show began.

The concert was on a Saturday night, so when I finished work on Friday, I got in my car to drive to my parents' house in Massachusetts. It had been raining lightly all day which shouldn't have been a problem, but it slowed traffic down enough that by the time I got close to New York City it was the middle of rush hour. Eight hours later, a drive that should have only taken me five hours was over and I finally arrived at my their house, exhausted and starving. The next day was spent visiting with them before I drove to the Boston suburbs to meet Carsten at his house mid-afternoon. We drove into the city, checked in at a cool hotel (called Verb) where Carsten had booked us some rooms (since it would be a late night and we were going to have a few drinks over the course of the evening), and then walked down the street to have dinner and catch up at an excellent BBQ place. [Before moving on, I want to mention the hotel quickly: Verb is a rock music-themed hotel literally right next to Fenway Park in the Kenmore Square area of Boston. The place is decorated really cool with vintage stuff, loads of records and posters, and even a guitar and some amps in the lobby (I was tempted to pick it up and play but didn't know if I was allowed to or if it was just for show). A really neat place and somewhere I'd definitely go stay at again not only for the ambiance and vibe, but also the fantastic location in the city. Plus, you literally could walk twenty feet out the door and you're right up against Fenway Park!] We had our dinner and then made the long walk down Commonwealth Avenue toward the Paradise. As we walked in the blustery early evening, the wind was really whipping as we discussed all of the previous concerts each of us had seen at the Paradise. It's one of the venues I like the most in Boston and I've seen some great shows there, although while we were walking I realized I hadn't been there since 2003 when I saw Supergrass on back-to-back nights. I knew it had been renovated since then so I was interested in seeing how it looked inside now. Also, the week before I'd managed to get us on the guest list for the band's afterparty thrown by Creation Records, so we were really looking forward to that as well. 

We got to the Paradise a little before 8pm (which was when the doors were due to open) and lined up to get inside. After entering, we decided to sit in the lounge area to have a drink and catch up some more. I'll confess I was pretty damn rock and roll here as I pounded glass after glass, probably four in all, of...water! Yeah, I was dying of thirst for some reason and just stuck to good old H2O...real rock and roll, don't you think? We actually ended up staying in there chatting during the opening band, who were the Besnard Lakes from Montreal. I think it's the first time I've ever skipped out on an opening band; usually when I get to a club, I get right to the front of the stage and stay there the entire time. Anyway, we had a lot to catch up on so the conversation was definitely worth missing them, without question. After they finished, we made our way into the club area and were able to get a spot maybe fifteen or twenty feet from the stage, a bit left of center. Unfortunately, for much of the show (as you'll see in the photos I took), a support pole was in our line of sight and blocked Loz and Andy from view unless they moved around a bit. However, as the show went on and people in front of us kept leaving to get drinks, we managed to get closer and a bit more toward center such that for the last third of the show, we had an unobstructed view of everyone on stage. When Ride were ready to come on, the lights went down and some droning/feedback sounds played over the PA for a few minutes to build the excitement up before they sauntered out and waved at us, to huge cheers from the capacity crowd.  The set list is below.

Set list:

Leave Them All Behind

Like a Daydream
Chrome Waves
Seagull
Sennen
OX4
Mouse Trap
Cool Your Boots
Black Nite Crash
Time of Her Time
Dreams Burn Down
Taste
Vapour Trail
Drive Blind

Encore:

Today
Chelsea Girl

As you can see, the bulk of the set was made up of songs from their two classic albums Nowhere and Going Blank Again. In fact, all of their releases were represented (even their last album, Tarantula!) except for Carnival of Light. I was a bit bummed since, unlike many Ride fans, I love CoL and I think songs like "Moonlight Medicine" and "I Don't Know Where It Comes From" would have sounded great live. BUT, there is no way I'm complaining...I mean, look at the set list!  When the opening organ notes of "Leave Them All Behind" played over the PA, Carsten and I looked at each and nodded before they tore into it. We just knew it was going to be a killer gig. [Another aside: I had been warned by a couple of friends who had seen Ride on this tour that they played at ear-splitting volume. Knowing this, I took earplugs with me as I love music far too much to risk damaging my hearing so that I can't enjoy it later in life. However, from the opening note, the sound was loud but perfectly balanced and comfortable, and I didn't end up needing earplugs at all. Other than Andy's vocals being slightly low in the mix, the sound was great and I had absolutely no ringing in my ears immediately after the concert or the next day. For a club show, that might have been the best sound mix I'd ever heard]. Back to the music, they tore into one song after another, with some highlights being "Black Nite Crash" from the much-maligned Tarantula, "OX4," "Sennen," which they mentioned hadn't been played on the tour yet and which was requested by the Besnard Lakes, and a ridiculous version of "Drive Blind" that closed the set and included almost five full minutes of a feedback and drum freak-out in the middle that whipped the crowd into a frenzy before they exploded back into the song. The encores were a really beautiful version of "Today" (with Mark playing bass and Steve making the almost violin-sounding noises on his bass) and a great power-pop "Chelsea Girl." As for the band themselves, they played with an intensity and joy that was infectious to those of us in the crowd...lots of smiling and nodding at each other, even if they didn't interact much onstage; whether this is how they've always been or whether it's a way to keep the tensions that broke them up in 1995 at bay during this reunion, I don't know, but it's something Carsten and I both noticed. Mark Gardener took the bulk of the lead vocals and played the more rhythm/complimentary guitar parts while Andy Bell played more lead guitar (including lots of tasty electric 12-string) and sang lead on a several songs. When they harmonized together, though, it was magical...THAT sound we all knew and loved. They both also mentioned that this was their first show in Boston in twenty years at the same club and asked who had seen them there back then...several hands went up. In fact, there weren't too many people that looked to be under 25 or 30 there...it was mainly made up of fans who were old enough to be Ride fans who either saw them in the 1990s or never got the chance to. Steve Queralt stayed mainly in the background but supplied that rock solid, booming, smooth bass that he's known for, while Loz Colbert was just a whirling dervish on the drums. Not only was his playing incredible but my eyes were constantly drawn to him such that I spent much of the gig watching him in awe as he worked his away around his drumkit and back again. Overall, the show was just fantastic, with an almost-perfect set list, killer performances, a crowd that was into it and appreciative (including an older guy who was REALLY into it and kept yelling for "Kaleidoscope" between songs, to which Mark said "there's always someone yelling for a song we're never gonna play!"), and a band who seemed to really enjoy the entire experience. As soon as the show ended, Loz stood up behind his kit and took a panorama of the crowd on his phone...he later tweeted it out and I managed to find myself in it (see below)...very cool!

Photo by Loz Colbert...there I am!

After the show, we made our way back to the lounge for the afterparty in the Paradise's front lounge. We hung out in there for a long time, chatting and having a couple of drinks (gin and tonic for me this time...a bit more rock and roll). The band came in and milled around and we ended up being sat no more than a foot or two from Andy Bell, Loz Colbert, and Mark Gardener. However, neither of us ended up talking to them much and even though I would have loved to have gotten a picture taken with them, I passed. I didn't want to be "that guy" going up them saying "hey man, I love you guys! I'm a huge fan! Can you sign this? Can I get a picture?" There were a LOT of "those guys" in the room doing that (and to be fair, a lot who were much cooler and laid back who just chatted with them and got a picture taken). The guys looked to be in a good mood but were understandably tired, at least visibly, and I just felt guilty that I would've been bothering them. We didn't see Steve Queralt in there but he did show up apparently as there were a few photos I saw online later where he was in there. Around 2am, which is an hour neither Carsten or I are used to staying up until since we both have jobs and kids, we decided to call it a night and took a cab back to the hotel. Next morning, it was driving back home and saying our goodbyes before I drove back to my parents to meet up with another friend for lunch before making the drive back to Pennsylvania, on which I listened to all of Ride's albums. The entire experience was great: seeing Ride, catching up with a couple of old friends, visiting with my parents, getting a chance to go back home to New England and Boston...I can check another favorite band off of my bucket list and I'll have memories of the entire weekend for as long as I live.

Mark and Andy's guitarsenal...I was drooling over these, especially the three Rickenbackers!

(As always, I'm trying to get a recording of the show since I collect tapes of concerts I've been to. So far, no luck. If anyone out there is reading this and has a copy or knows where I can find one, please contact me to let me know...thanks!)

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